pre-malaysia post

this is my pre-malaysia post. :)

i absolutely cannot wait till im blogging from kuala lumpur. i hope that you read this throughout the summer & that as you do, you are led to pray for me, for the team, and for our purpose this summer- to reach the lost in malaysia.

Here is a picture of our team:

[jake, matt, andrew, cj, renee, lauren doss, lauren barry, suzanne, sarah, elizabeth, me, steph. not pictured: brian, cooper, & owen] we covet your prayers.

"Pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as i should." - colossiams 4:3-4

[to God be the glory]
Kathy

homesick.

Everything in creation reflects the Creator & His redemptive narrative: marriage displays the beautiful pursual & union of Christ & His bride, the changing of the seasons expresses the cycle of life, death, & rebirth, and not to mention the utter beauty of Creation which showcases the complete Glory of Christ. Even our own desires, loneliness, longings- are placed inside of us, to reveal a hunger that should be directed towards Christ... therefore, why should homesickness for an earthly home not reflect the homesickness we should have for our Heavenly home?


Maybe this concept isn't new to you.. but, it is to me. I've always felt that homesickness was just an earthly concept desired by man. However, lately, the Lord has shown that these desires we have are put in us by Him, for His glory only.


My desire for my earthly home, comforts, family, even my bed... are put inside of me in order to point me towards a desire for my Eternal Home. When I start to long for a temporary home, the Lord instead reminds me of the longing I should be experiencing for His fullness of presence, my Heavenly dwelling. How wonderful the greatness of God that He give us earthly pains and groans to remind us of Himself!


I want to be like Abraham, who, even as a stranger in a foreign country, "was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." As Abraham was faithful to go, homesick for the only land he knew but trusting in the promise of His future home, so do i also want to be faithful to go, live, breathe, and serve in the land I'm currently dwelling- while soley longing for my Heavenly home.


How much time do we spend missing our earthly homes as compared to how much time we spend missing our eternal Home? How often do we shed tears over the fact that we're not there? And how much better is our Heavenly home than any earthly home?!

How vast our sinful pride & ignorance is, that we could actually desire this dirty, sick, sin-infested place of death compared to a city in which the sun or moon are not needed to give light for the Glory of God is its lamp!!


I want to be in anguish in this life. [Living here & longing for there.] Desiring His world above my own gives me perspective, guidance, life & breath. Seeking FIRST His Kingdom- truly longing, thirsting, zealously pursuing after It... gives my life purpose. The more I want to dwell there, the more I'll want those around me to share in that eternal dwelling.

"You said that You'd be coming, coming for me soon. O my God, I'll be ready for You. I want to run on greener pastures, I want to dance on higher hills. I want to drink from sweeter water, in the misty, morning chill.

And my soul is getting restless for the place where I belong.
I can't wait to join the angels & sing my heaven song...


I hear your voice & I catch my breath. 'Well done my child, enter in & rest.'

Tears of joy roll down my cheek,

It's beautiful beyond my wildest dreams."

[Phil Wickham, Heaven Song]






Come, Lord Jesus, come.

it's been awhile...

so, it's been almost a year since i've posted on this thing. and honestly, i don't really know why i'm starting now. i don't actually think anyone will read this... kind of hope no one really does. but, anyways- here's what is going on.

i'm in Big Sky country aka: Kalispell, Montana for the summer. and, man, is it be-autiful. so, beautiful. I love walking outside and being completely surrounded by snow-topped mountains. I pray I never get used to seeing such beauty. this summer i'm serving as the high school youth intern at Easthaven Baptist Church and living with my aunt and uncle (who is the pastor of the church) and two ridiculously sweet cousins as well as fellow intern slash cousin, Kara. There are five of us interns for the summer.... D.J (college intern), Kara and Alexz (children's intern), and Sami (high school intern).

i've been here for 2 weeks and a day... and, man has the time flown by. the first two weeks have been full of meeting people, orientation, church, graduations, and more meeting people. it's been great. everyone has been so welcoming and i'm so grateful for their hospitality. "my" youth are incredible. there are between 40-60 of them so i definitely do not know them all well, but the ones i've gotten the chance to really meet and hang out with are amazing and i'm so excited to live life with them this summer.

i praise God for this opportunity to love on people the love of jesus christ. i pray that i would be selfless in motivation, that i would literally make the most of every single second that i'm here, and that i would be intentional with every conversation i have.

my dad sent me this quote and it hasn't left my mind since reading it....
"be intensely spiritual, but perfectly natural."
quite the challenge. hope i'm up for it.

love to whoever is out there reading this thing.
<3kathy

JOY

Ok, so have you ever had those nights at a worship service- where you KNOW the pastor is speaking only to you? Like the Lord has given him the Word just for your benefit only? ha....

Well, that was tonight for me at the Flood, a church service here in town….

The title of the sermon was 'Obstacles to Joy'…. And it is kind of ironic because I was definitely having a pity party this afternoon- falling into a slump of depression… I feel like I have been robbed of my joy lately. Like feeling complacent & worthless in my ministry, feeling unloved, wishing things would happen that haven’t & wondering if they will in relationships with people…. & more than all of that- feeling separation from God because I haven’t spent the time with Him that I need to…. Basically feeling empty & spent & emotional. Heck, I even painted my nails dark yesterday… ha

Anyways, the message tonight was about how its ok to feel these things- as long as we bring them to God. We pour our hearts to Him. Let Him know how we feel- because he understands what we’re going through. & remember God’s faithfulness in our lives- be thankful. And rest in the fact that he LOVES us & directs His love to us in ways we sometimes don’t notice or see.
I’m normally a very joyful person- most people would describe me this way… but lately I haven’t felt it. Until tonight- remembering what it's like to THIRST after God like a deer thirsts for water… longing to be in His dwelling place so much so that seeking after Him produces uncontrollable JOY in my life. Joy that hopefully overflows onto others.

I have less than 3 weeks left here…but I am hopeful for these next few weeks. God is going to do some amazing things. He is faithful to do such. He is going to move in my church, in my youth, in me. He is going to reveal even more things about Himself to me… I’m going to learn some powerful things the next few weeks. And my relationships with others- are going to be strengthened. I know it. And I am joyful for the little bit of time I get to spend with these people here- never again will I be in this situation with these same people- so instead of withdrawing- like I was starting to- I will trust in Christ & make the most of my time left. Hold nothing back. Love with all I have. Be selfless. Serve beyond myself. Be USED by Christ. And laugh as often as possible:)

Lord- thanks for restoring to me the JOY of my salvation!!
I pray you do the same for those that actually read this thing…
Be filled with JOY:)

hosea 5.

This will change your life. hosea 5.. from the message.

(God speaking)
"And now, here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to start all over again. I'm taking her back out into the wilderness where we had our first date, and I'll court her. I'll give her bouquets of roses. I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope. She'll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt.
"At that time"—this is God's Message still— "you'll address me, 'Dear husband!' Never again will you address me, 'My slave-master!' I'll wash your mouth out with soap, get rid of all the dirty false-god names, not so much as a whisper of those names again. At the same time I'll make a peace treaty between you and wild animals and birds and reptiles,And get rid of all weapons of war. Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies! And then I'll marry you for good—forever! I'll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness. Yes, I'll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go. You'll know me, God, for who I really am.
"On the very same day, I'll answer"—this is God's Message— "I'll answer the sky, sky will answer earth, Earth will answer grain and wine and olive oil, and they'll all answer Jezreel. I'll plant her in the good earth.
I'll have mercy on No-Mercy. I'll say to Nobody, 'You're my dear Somebody,' and he'll say 'You're my God!'"

Dang, i just love this version of this passage. I love even more though, how God pursues us- even when we are worthless and empty and broken and "no mercy" and "nobody." He makes us Somebody. He loves us with an everlasting love. He wines & dines us. He takes us back to where we had our first date- He makes us fall in love with Him. He turns our Heartbreak alley into a valley of hope.

God is amazing. & he pursues us.... daily. The ultimate pursuer is at work- actively pursuing us. man, that is beautiful to me.

<3kath